Properly choosing your bridal party

One of the most important--and potentially dangerous--parts of any wedding is choosing the bridal party. Deciding who will be bridesmaids and groomsmen on your big day can make or break a good wedding experience. So proceed with caution in your selections. Though it seems trivial, leaving out your cousin in favor of a college friend might bring on a tsunami of an uproar.

The right bridal party will help everything run smoothly. They'll show up on time to things, plan showers and parties, and generally be there to support you on your big day. Choose the wrong group of maids and groomsmen, however, and the result could be disastrous. Not only will all the required duties not be fulfilled, but you also run the risk of beginning huge rifts with friends who feel left out. It's not so much who you include in your wedding party that's dangerous; it's who you leave out.

This leads me to the topic of wedding parties large enough to populate a small town. Immense wedding parties aren't uncommon. I've heard tell of weddings with 12 bridesmaids and 12 groomsmen. At events with bridal parties of this size, the ceremony area is practically enveloped by an arching line of men and women wearing matching outfits. I guess the thought is it's better to include everyone remotely qualified than run the risk of hurt feelings among friends. But a 12-bridesmaid wedding seems like just too much. Too much to plan. Too many people to coordinate. Too many chances for fights. I'm sure plenty of people have had successful ceremonies with herds of friends included, but for me, at least, the thought of 12 bridesmaids makes me grimace.

As you probably guessed, I'm doing the opposite of “the more the merrier” philosophy for my wedding. My sister will be the only bridesmaid, and my fiancé's brother the only groomsman. We both have lots of good friends, and making the decision of who to include in our wedding--without numbers getting out of control-- was just too hard. We're pleased with our choice to keep it simple. So far, I haven't had to deal with any hurt feelings, although I have had a few people tell me that keeping the bridal party small is a brilliant idea.

From what I've gathered in research, smaller bridal parties have become more of a trend in recent years. It used to be common for bridesmaids to number six or more, but now three or four is the average count. That's not to say that gigantic wedding parties don't exist--they do--but they're becoming less of the norm. More and more couples are keeping wedding parties undersized and family oriented. So brothers and sisters and close cousins might be the only people included, instead of a slew of best high school and college friends too.

There are plenty of ways to include good friends without designating them bridesmaids or groomsmen. I'm creating jobs left and right for my best buddies. I need readers for my church wedding ceremony, people in charge of programs, a guest book attendant, and other friends to do small tasks at the reception. Designating good friends for these smaller roles is great; you'll always need help with little things. And there's no cost and little responsibility associated with each job, so my appointed helpers won't have to stress out about their involvement. And with this method, I won't be stressing out about whether all 12 bridesmaids show up and look presentable either.