Planning A Catholic Wedding: Finding A Middle Ground

Growing up I always imagined getting married in my family church but when it came time to planning my wedding I found myself wondering if that would be the best choice. The problem wasn’t that the church was booked that day or that there wasn’t enough room to accommodate both of our families. The problem was that I was raised catholic while my husband was not.

Traditionally catholic females only wed catholic males but that’s not the case these days. While the church still prefers same denominational weddings, catholics can marry whomever they choose. I was worried about my husband not being comfortable with a catholic wedding, but more than that I was worried about his family being bored and lost throughout the service.

Anyone who has ever attended a catholic wedding will tell you that they are long. During a catholic wedding a full mass is performed in addition to the wedding vows of the bride and groom. The ceremony often last more than an hour. If you’re not from the catholic faith that hour can be confusing.

After much consideration we decided to get married in my church. Working with my priest we were able to arrange for an abbreviated catholic wedding. We kept the traditional catholic readings and vows but left out some of the ceremony. In doing this we were able to find a middle ground where his family felt comfortable and my family got the catholic ceremony.

It worked out great for us given our circumstances. Had we chosen to be married in an unfamiliar church by a pastor we did not know our wedding would not have turned out the same. One of the things I learned from this is that if you come from different backgrounds it’s important your spouse know your feelings and that you work together to find a compromise.